Pizzati Pages

Re-Culturization

2011-01-15T16:04:00.000-08:00

I know that I grew up in this country. American principles and ideals are ingrained in me. However, living outside of the U.S. for five and half years has changed me. I'm still trying to process "how" but I know for certain that I am not the same person I was before we left the U.S. We didn't just "live" outside of the U.S., but rather I sought to embrace a different culture and lifestyle. I studied them and adapted many things accordingly. I saw poverty sights that most Americans only see on TV and I saw them so often that I must confess that I may have even become immune to them at times. So, how does one go from living in a culture where relationships were more important than meetings, where having clothes were more important than the style you wore, where eating three meals a day was a luxury not a necessity, and where punctuality was irrelevant, adjust back to the American culture?

I must confess, it is taking time.

So, we were only gone five and half years. Can things really change that much? You bet they can! Streets here in Greenville look different. Landmarks I once used to get around with have changed with new restaurants and businesses. New electronic devices have blown me away! Many seem foreign to me, but slowly I am making myself learn to use them. I am amazed at the functions of the DVR, Netflix, and the nook. I love having an automatic dishwasher and was fascinated to learn what could go down the drain for the garbage disposal. However, inspite of all these things, by far the greatest change has been me! I am learning not to take things for granted such as more than one pair of shoes in my closet, plates to eat on, heat in the house, beds to sleep on, walls around us to block the wind, toys for my kids to play with, etc.

I find myself enjoying "things to do" but also finding it hard to make decisions. There seem to be so many options here! For example, in our town in Honduras we had two grocery stores and you simply went to the one that you lived closest to. There was one place to buy vegetables, another for meat, etc. Inside our grocery store, there was basically one brand of everything we wanted. Here, it is taking me forever to decide which grocery store to go to. I am using coupons to help me narrow this option down, but nonetheless, more than one store has sales and is in a convenient location. Then, when I get inside of the store, there isn't just one brand of soup, there are several and within each branded label, there are multiple varieties. Options and choices. From restaurants to feminine products, this is a land of variety. And right now, the variety overwhelms me.

The other morning, I drove into a gas station, pulled up at the pump, and just sat there. I'm not exactly sure how long it took me to realize that someone was not coming to pump my gas. In Honduras, this was a way to provide jobs for people, but here it is "self-serve". So, in the freezing cold, I climbed out my car and mashed all the right buttons and pumped my own gas. I know it seems silly, but after going for so long not having to do this, I felt a little intimidated.

Also, there are still times that I look at a price in a store and begin calculating it to lempiras because that became second nature to me. I still find myself seeing someone with "darker skin" and begin speaking in Spanish to them. I find myself cringing as I see some of the scraps people here put into the garbage disposal. I have to stop myself from not grabbing everything out people's garbage cans to save for someone who might could use it such as empty milk cartons and plastic containers. I still look under my sink for the gallon of bleach to use for my vegetables, and I'm still amazed that the water in the faucet comes out so clear! I LOVE the luxury of simply rinsing a tomato to use and eat. I still find myself staring at unused candles in peoples homes, b/c each of mine had burned to the end on the nights we had no electricity.

So, I have been asking people to "re-culturize" me: to teach me the way things are done here, the way people eat, and the way people dress. Just as I adapted to Honduran culture in order to share Christ with them, my desire has been to re-adapt to this culture in order to share Christ here. However, I don't want to fall into the trap of materialism. I don't want to forget the lessons I have learned. I want to be in the world but not of the world. I think that's what we're commanded to do anyways. I remember my husband teaching guys in Honduras, "I'm not here to teach you an American culture or a Honduran culture, I'm here to teach you a Biblical culture." This is my prayer.... may I adapt where I need to, but Lord help me to be a walking example of what a "Jesus Culture" should look like.

Starting Anew 2011

2011-01-12T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am finally getting around to posting this blog. I wrote it while sitting in the airport in Honduras our last few moments. It’s not perfect and I know that I should revise it, but this shows me right where I am. I can’t wait to continue to post updates of our life journey as the Creator of the Universe orders our steps!

I have just completed what may have been one of the most difficult weeks of my life so far. We packed our things and said goodbye to our friends and family in Honduras…for now. I can’t even begin to describe the surge of emotions we have experienced: pain, joy, heartbreak, fear, and fulfillment are just a few.

It hurt. Literally. My heart hurt to have to leave. These are people we love, people we have poured our hearts and lives into. Several important circumstances have led my husband to this decision. From legal paperwork to maintain his residency to lack of funding to return, the decision to return to the states was inevitable, but that didn’t make it easy. We cried lots! I know that the book of psalms tells us that God collects each of our tears in a bottle and I know that this week, we’ve filled a few for Him to store. However, I wanted to share with you that even in the midst of one of the most difficult times, His presence was with us! I saw Him all around us! He encouraged us as He allowed us to see fruit of our five and half years as missionaries in the country. I saw him as He spoke through our Honduran friends. These last days have been busy packing and cleaning and selling things and receiving people and hearing their stories. Dozens of people and families came to share how God has used us to touch their lives in some way or another. It was overwhelming! It was overwhelming because I know that it was nothing good out of us, but that the Lord simply used us, as imperfect as they come, to touch them in various ways. Our hearts were filled with joy this last Sunday morning as our church was filled to capacity and His people worshiped Him. I saw the Lord’s presence as He provided legal paperwork for mom and dad’s girls and an interview date for my sister-in-law at the embassy. I saw the Lord’s presence as the people of the church grieved our leaving but were so willing to embrace their new pastor and vowed their support to continue to grow Transformacion. I felt the Lord’s presence as He changed my attitude from one of anger and bitterness to a heart of gratitude for the time He has given us in Honduras.

We have been scared. We don’t have paying jobs yet back in the states nor do we have a house to live in yet. Fear has paralyzed me at times. Maybe I shouldn’t have these kind of emotions, but I have. I can’t say that I’ve been super-spiritual, trusting the Lord each step, but rather the opposite. Clinging on to Him for dear life is more like it. I have had to say, “Lord, I don’t understand. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I am choosing to trust You even when I can’t see.” Walking by faith and not by sight is easier said and written than it is lived.

“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He restores my soul. And yeah, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for HE is with me. His rod and His staff, they comfort me.”

No, this was not a physical death, but it has been a death to our own desires. We are grieving, but we also know that with every death comes a resurrection and that joy comes in the morning! We anticipate this time. I would be lying if I said that I haven’t worried. I have worried about many things and yet after taking time to list those things to the Lord, He allowed me to see His hand in each one. Isn’t it just like the Lord to show up in our darkest valley? Why do I ever doubt Him? Why do I ever fear? He continues to prove to me over and over again that He is trustworthy and faithful! So, the Author and Perfector of our faith has completed writing another chapter in our lives. Now, a new chapter begins and I am not even about to try to figure out what it is He wants to write, but I know that there will be more than we could have ever thought or imagined!

Thank you for sending us to Honduras! One day you will come face to face with your eternal rewards, of this we are certain! Please continue to pray for us as we take one step of faith at a time.

Until I’m Safely Home…

2010-08-07T22:02:00.001-07:00

I just felt like I needed to take some time to analyze the book I just read entitled, Safely Home, by Randy Alcorn. I have surges of emotions racing through me right now.

Conviction: I have conviction that I take for granted the five Bibles I'm staring at right now on my book shelf when many people do not own one. Conviction for how I do not cherish the Word of God as I should. Why did it take reading a book to make this a reality? I gave out four Bibles just last week to individuals that did not own one. Why was I not so convicted then? Was it my own pride or self-satisfaction that was more important than actually gifting them with the Words of Life?

Gratitude: I'm grateful that I live in a country where there is freedom to share about Christ. We host Bible studies openly in our home and announce them on the radio. We do not have to hide in underground churches or sing silent songs.

Heaviness of Heart: I am burdened for the people God has placed in our lives that have made Jesus their everything. I think of Lencho. He makes less than a dollar a day to feed himself, his wife, and his family, and yet he diligently studies God's word and now teaches it to those in Dolores. He is being tempted by a better job offer in another city, but so far has remained faithful to calling of pastor. I think of Paulino who was willing to walk four hours one way for a two hour discipleship to learn more so as not to commit heresy in teaching the Bible. I think of the mother down the road that is a victim of domestic violence, but prays for her husband. She knows the pains of physical hunger.

Many people here know about physical hunger, but Lord produce in us a hunger for more of You. Move in this little area of the world, in this zone of Honduras. Make us so that we will be as the deer that pants for streams of water searching for living water in You. Holy Spirit stir this up in the hearts of each church member of each church plant. Strengthen the leaders You have placed in each one. Equip them with Your mercy and grace. I pray for the communities where the sheep wander without a shepherd to guide them. Call forth leaders Lord! Touch the hearts of individuals. Lead us to them so that we can be Your servants that equip them and encourage them. We ask for a revival in this land! I pray that many would turn from their religion and embrace a relationship with You. I pray that the name of Jesus would become more than a bumper sticker or "catch phrase" used in the common lingo. I pray that the Lencas would learn the Person behind this name and bow down in reverence to You. Let this revival begin in our home! I pray that Gabby and Owen will not just hear about you from words we share with them, but will see you in our actions. I pray that they too would develop a compassion for people and a desire to share You with others. I pray that no matter where they go in life or what they do, loving You and sharing about You would be the passion of their hearts. May it never cease to be mine! Uphold us, Father! Help us to keep a Heavenly perspective and to see all trials as "light a momentary troubles."

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them a beaty for ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified!" Isaiah 61:1-3

The Hiker - The Missionary

2010-07-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

In the barren prairie, the hiker huddles down. The cold northerly sweeps over him, stinging his face and numbing his fingers. The whistle of the wind is deafening. The hiker hugs his knees to his chest, yearning for warmth.

He doesn't move. The sky is orange with dirt. His teeth are grainy, his eyes sooty. he thinks of quitting. Going home. Home to the mountains.

"Ahh. The mountains." The spirit that moved him in the mountains seems so far away. For a moment his mind wanders back to his homeland. Green country. Mountain trails. Fresh water. Hikers hiking on well-marked trails. No surprises, few fears, rich companionship.
One day, while on a brisk hike, he had stopped to look out from the mountains across the neighboring desert. He felt strangely pulled to the sweeping barrenness that lay before him.

The next day he paused again. And the next, and the next. "Shouldn't someone go there? Shouldn't someone try to take life to the desert?" Slowly the flicker in his heart became a flame.

Many agreed that someone should go, but no one volunteered. Uncharted land, fearful storms, loneliness.

But the hiker, spurred by the enthusiasm of others, determined to go. After careful preparation, he set out alone. With the cheers of his friends behind him, he descended the grassy highlands and entered the desolate wilderness.

The first few days his steps were springy and his eye was keen. He yearned to do his part to bring life to the desert. Then came the heat. The scorpions. The monotony. The snakes. Slowly, the fire diminished. And now...the storm. The endless roar of the wind. The relentless, cursed cold.

"I don't know ho much more I can take!!!!!!"

Weary and beaten, the hiker considers going back. "At least I got this far." Knees tucked underhim, head bowed, almost touching the ground. "Will it ever stop?"

Grimly he laughs at the irony of the situation. "Some hiker. Too tired to go on, yet too ashamed to go home." Deep, deep is the struggle. No longer can he hear the voices of friends. Long gone is the romance of his mission. No longer does he float on the fancifulness of a dream.

"Maybe someone else should do this. I'm too young, too inexperienced." The winds of discouragement and fear whip at his fire, exhausting what is left of the flame. But the coals remain, hidden and hot.

The hiker, now almost the storm's victim, looks one last ime for the fire. (Is there any great challenge than that of stirring a spirit while in the clutches of defeat?) Yearning and clawing, the tempation to quit is gradually overcome by the urge to go on. Blowing on the coals, the hiker once again hears the call to the desert. Though faint, the call is clear.

With all the strength he can summon, the hiker rises to his feet, bows his head, and takes his first step into the wind.

On the Anvil- Max Lucado

I don't think I've ever read something that identifies so clearly with the walk of a missionary. There are days that are awesome and exciting to watch God working in the lives of the people where you've been transplanted. And then there are other days, periods of time, when the mere call is what keeps you. Oh, we've questioned. We've questioned ourselves and we've questioned God. We've questioned people. We've asked for confirmations. And He is always so faithful to answer! How long will we be here? I don't know! But I do know that right now, this is the call and each day, although it may be difficult and lonely and not very exciting, is another day to count as a privelege and honor to serve Him. We praise Him in the storms. And we praise Him for the eternal fruit He's allowed us to witness. If it were all just for one, it would be worth it. This month marks five years we've served in Honduras, and He has been gracious to let us witness many transformations, especially my own.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding teh glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart."

2 Corinthians 3:18-4:1

Tests and Testimonies

2010-05-23T16:00:00.000-07:00

For every test, there should always be a testimony of God's faithfulness! ~author unknown

This has become the theme of our lives. Tests are certain, but so is God's faithfulness! We face all kinds of tests and trials daily. There are physical trials, emotional trials, internal trials, external trials, spiritual trials, trials within the family, trials within the church, etc. Perhaps for me, the most difficult trial is the test of time. Waiting!
Waiting upon the Lord for guidance,
waiting upon the Lord for an answer;
waiting when I want "my way now!"
And yet, when we WAIT, we SOAR!
The blessings of walking with the Lord, in HIS strength and in HIS power, is ALWAYS worth the wait!

There have been many times in my life that I haven't waited, but there was one time when I did... it was a life-changing decision and one of the most important decisions of my life. It was the choosing my spouse. You see, I had been in a relationship with somebody that I thought was right for me and best, but I'm so thankful that God knows me inside and out and knew that this other guy wasn't HIS best for me. So when that relationship ended, I waited! I waited through many lonely Friday nights. I waited for several years and then my brothers introduced me to this "cool hispanic pastor dude." I was immediately drawn to his character and vision for his future. I was drawn to his relationship with the Lord. But still, this wasn't enough for me. I wanted to hear God's voice tell me, this is "the one." When my precious husband first asked me to marry him, I didn't respond "yes" or "no", but I responded, "please wait!" My poor man was willing to do so! So for the next several days, I asked the Lord for a response. One particular morning, He led me to His word and the verse Isaiah 40:31 that says,
"Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." That morning we went to Mepkin Abbey, a local monestary in my home town. While were sitting and talking, I looked up and saw a bald eagle flying high in the sky. Immediately, this verse lept into my heart and as I was reflecting, I saw a second eagle join the first in the sky and fly off together. God showed me that day, it was okay to join this guy and "soar" together for the rest of our lives! He's always worth the wait!